I have things that I want to buy, which I haven't bought (even though I have saved up enough money), which I know I'll end up eventually buying... So why don't I just buy them?
Well, humans consistently strive. And I am human. If I were to obtain the object of my desire now (i.e. the Shaun Tan print, the Vitello Lux Miu Miu Bag...), then after the momentary euphoria I will experience from FINALLY buying it, I will just move onto my next consumerist pursuit.
So I choose to wait. For what? I don't know. But like I said, I know I will buy it eventually. I guess that by waiting, I acknowledge my superficial wants and consciously choose not to fulfill them. It gives me a sense of control over the humanistic trait of always wanting "better stuff".
This is why I feel that I will still be happy earning a fraction of my current income in a low paying job that is a billion times less stressful than my current one. I feel that I have enough self control in taming my wants, to not need to have a lot of money.
But MP's idea (please see previous post) flips this whole notion around.
Essentially, he's saying that the grass is greener on the other side.
Hmm. More things to ponder...
Friday, February 24, 2012
Working for freedom
MP is not usually one for insightful, philosophical thought. He surprised me the other day with an idea that has made me realise how much I take what I have for granted.
"You don't work for money. You work for the freedom that money brings you. If you quit your job, you won't miss the gourmet yoghurt you currently buy, (you'll just go back to Ski). What you'll miss, is the OPTION to buy the gourmet yoghurt. i.e. The freedom to do whatever you want with the money, to buy whatever you choose."
Working for Freedom. The notion sounds a bit ironic. I have to go to work because I have to pay the bills. Work isn't really a matter of choice. But what MP is suggesting is that we work so that we can have options, and options equates to freedom. A freedom to choose, to buy whatever we desire. I may be in a frame of mind now where I feel that I can go without the fresh yoghurt, deli cheeses, and a good bottle of Riesling (yes, I am a simple girl. Yummy food is my Prada). I can relinquish those things so that I can embark on new adventures which may not reap much (if any) monetary rewards. But when I'm there, what MP is saying is that I won't miss the food. I will miss having the choice to buy it. Money brings with it a window of opportunities and choices... and that is what I currently take for granted.
I never thought about it that way. And since I have, I've grown a newfound appreciation for my job. Isn't it funny how a different perspective can change everything?
Happy Friday.
"You don't work for money. You work for the freedom that money brings you. If you quit your job, you won't miss the gourmet yoghurt you currently buy, (you'll just go back to Ski). What you'll miss, is the OPTION to buy the gourmet yoghurt. i.e. The freedom to do whatever you want with the money, to buy whatever you choose."
Working for Freedom. The notion sounds a bit ironic. I have to go to work because I have to pay the bills. Work isn't really a matter of choice. But what MP is suggesting is that we work so that we can have options, and options equates to freedom. A freedom to choose, to buy whatever we desire. I may be in a frame of mind now where I feel that I can go without the fresh yoghurt, deli cheeses, and a good bottle of Riesling (yes, I am a simple girl. Yummy food is my Prada). I can relinquish those things so that I can embark on new adventures which may not reap much (if any) monetary rewards. But when I'm there, what MP is saying is that I won't miss the food. I will miss having the choice to buy it. Money brings with it a window of opportunities and choices... and that is what I currently take for granted.
I never thought about it that way. And since I have, I've grown a newfound appreciation for my job. Isn't it funny how a different perspective can change everything?
Happy Friday.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
2011 Highlights
I know it's February but as they say, better late than ever!
There were so many highlights in 2011. I'm a highly visual person so when I think back on the year, all I see is a mosaic of pictures. So what better way to present my 2011 highlights than through Picasa's photo collages!
I went to some of the most amazing places to eat in 2011. My tastebuds went to heaven and back, many many times. Almost half the photos I took in 2011 were of food. Here were some of my favourites.
As most of you know, I love making things, but time was the most finite resource for me in 2011. Fortunately, I was still able to finish a few creative projects. Most notably, my crystal wedding shoes... haha.
The main event of 2011 was no doubt MP and I's wedding day. The official wedding photos can be found on our photographers' blog here, but for me, the highlights were the spontaneous moments captured. These were my favourites.
There were so many highlights in 2011. I'm a highly visual person so when I think back on the year, all I see is a mosaic of pictures. So what better way to present my 2011 highlights than through Picasa's photo collages!
I went to some of the most amazing places to eat in 2011. My tastebuds went to heaven and back, many many times. Almost half the photos I took in 2011 were of food. Here were some of my favourites.
As most of you know, I love making things, but time was the most finite resource for me in 2011. Fortunately, I was still able to finish a few creative projects. Most notably, my crystal wedding shoes... haha.
Back when MP and I were sixteen, we jokingly painted a dream of what our future together would look like "when we grow up." Realistically, neither of us really thought it would come true as at that age, we doubted our relationship would last 12 weeks, let alone 12 years. But suffice to say, in 2011, our childhood dream came true. It was the first year MP and I moved in together, setting up home in our little apartment... getting married was just the cherry on top.
2011 was a year of many tumultuous changes at work but alas, I think I've finally reconciled the battles in my head. I'm in a good head space and 2012 is shaping up to be a great year with many exciting projects in the pipeline. Career wise, I have never aspired to any particular rank or title. I've always written in the annual performance reviews that I wanted to grow to a "position of influence". I finally think I'm there.
There were definitely sad moments in 2011. We lost Autie Sue which was sudden, shocking and devastating. It served as a gentle reminder of how short life can be and that every breath I take, someone else in the world is fighting for theirs.
All in all, 2011 was an amazing year and I learned many lessons. My big motto for 2012?
Make every moment count.
Friday, December 30, 2011
New Years Eve's Eve - Happy Friday
It's the second last day of the New Year but I'll save the 2011 wrap up for this weekend...
Christmas this year was a momentous event as, for the first time, my new in-laws came over for the annual Wong Christmas Bonanza. Uncle B and Bree were also in attendance, and G-Bomb has reclaimed his seat at the Wong dining table, making this year the biggest Christmas feast we've ever had at the Hills household.
Christmas wasn't always such a big affair but over the last few years, JW and I have endeavored to turn it into a momentous and memorable occasion. The big beautiful 2-ft tall tree dripping with decorations, Christmas lights flashing out the front yard, fairy lights twinkling down the spiralling staircase and of course the big feast - a dining table heavy leadened with a big smoked ham, cheesy potato bake, smoked salmon, fresh prawns, oysters (this year, drizzled with Tetsuya vinaigrette), and salads galore. My in-laws also added a turkey and delicious Malaysian Cendol to the banquet this year. Deee-lish!
Then there were the presents! Everyone who comes over for Christmas gets a present. Not a random Dollar store present, but a considered, well thought out present, purchased especially for that individual. Example, MP got a Nerf sniper rifle - the perfect gift for him as, if he didn't work at a bank, he would most definitely have become combat sniper. I got a Sylvanian Families rabbit family and an ice cream cart - perfect complements to my Watermill Bakery, and the perfect gift for me as MP would have killed me if I bought any more kids toys this year.
Speaking of which, MP's cousins who are visiting from Hong Kong, come over last night for dinner with their kids, 9 year old Kaiden and 7 year old Jen Hui, and their four year old niece Anya. The kids found our toy stash before we had even the chance to offer the adults a drink. But last night confirmed what we had already known... our home is a kid's dream house. Both Kaiden and his dad spend the night driving recklessly on MP's PS3. The girls spend the night ogling over my Squinkies and then playing shop with my little Sylvanian Family characters, as my new rabbit family quickly became patrons of the Watermill Bakery and the ice cream cart.
It was a great night and it reaffirmed something to me, a thought which left me smiling.
Although I have adult responsibilities, I've still built a home and a life, that is true to me. I still have a childlike wonder and I haven't forgotten my childhood dreams.
That realisation has given me the perfect finish to the year, and I am feeling very grateful.
Christmas this year was a momentous event as, for the first time, my new in-laws came over for the annual Wong Christmas Bonanza. Uncle B and Bree were also in attendance, and G-Bomb has reclaimed his seat at the Wong dining table, making this year the biggest Christmas feast we've ever had at the Hills household.
Christmas wasn't always such a big affair but over the last few years, JW and I have endeavored to turn it into a momentous and memorable occasion. The big beautiful 2-ft tall tree dripping with decorations, Christmas lights flashing out the front yard, fairy lights twinkling down the spiralling staircase and of course the big feast - a dining table heavy leadened with a big smoked ham, cheesy potato bake, smoked salmon, fresh prawns, oysters (this year, drizzled with Tetsuya vinaigrette), and salads galore. My in-laws also added a turkey and delicious Malaysian Cendol to the banquet this year. Deee-lish!
Then there were the presents! Everyone who comes over for Christmas gets a present. Not a random Dollar store present, but a considered, well thought out present, purchased especially for that individual. Example, MP got a Nerf sniper rifle - the perfect gift for him as, if he didn't work at a bank, he would most definitely have become combat sniper. I got a Sylvanian Families rabbit family and an ice cream cart - perfect complements to my Watermill Bakery, and the perfect gift for me as MP would have killed me if I bought any more kids toys this year.
Speaking of which, MP's cousins who are visiting from Hong Kong, come over last night for dinner with their kids, 9 year old Kaiden and 7 year old Jen Hui, and their four year old niece Anya. The kids found our toy stash before we had even the chance to offer the adults a drink. But last night confirmed what we had already known... our home is a kid's dream house. Both Kaiden and his dad spend the night driving recklessly on MP's PS3. The girls spend the night ogling over my Squinkies and then playing shop with my little Sylvanian Family characters, as my new rabbit family quickly became patrons of the Watermill Bakery and the ice cream cart.
It was a great night and it reaffirmed something to me, a thought which left me smiling.
Although I have adult responsibilities, I've still built a home and a life, that is true to me. I still have a childlike wonder and I haven't forgotten my childhood dreams.
That realisation has given me the perfect finish to the year, and I am feeling very grateful.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Monday Ramblings
Christmas is only six days away. The tree us up, presents are wrapped, and the menu for the big feast has been finalised... bring on Santa Clause!
A crazy weekend just flew by filled with delicious food, gorgeous friends and my wonderful family. We hosted a dinner party on Friday night for my dear friend Trace, who flew back from Singapore for the Christmas holidays. She and Pete brought back the new edition to their family, baby Mimi, who is only two months old! You can already tell that this little half dutch/half Phillo baby is going to be one heck of a heart breaker.
A trip to visit Katty in Wyoming followed by a battle at the shopping centre to buy pressies for MP's eight nieces and nephews, left MP and I frazzled and dazed on Saturday. But we persevered, driving out to Baulkham Hills that night for friends' birthday celebrations. Then Sunday was another full day - lunch at Nina and Carls's (DIY Vietnamese rice paper rolls complete with authentic pork jerky skewers) followed by a trip out to Canley Vale for soupy beef pho. Then a visit to mum and dad's in West Penno before finally making our way home... Lest to day, It was a full on weekend.
This year has flown by in a blur and, quite frankly, I'm exhausted. Only now, as the year end nears, have I had the chance to reflect on how big this year has been... setting up our home, loss of a loved one, getting married and big opportunities at work... it's been a year of momentous events.
I am looking forward to some quiet time over Christmas/New Years to just sit back, relax and be, me. Pick up my camera again, twist and cross the bobbins of my half finished lace work, reform the crochet blister on my right hand, and head back out to the bindery. Looking forward to indulging in my frivolous pursuits. But all that will have to wait until after Christmas as there is no slowing down in the next six days! Preparations for our big family feast has already begun - honey glazed ham, oozy potato bake, refreshing prawn and mango salad... and much, much more. This year will be the first year where the in laws will be joining us, and with them comes delicious Malaysian desserts. Coconut cendol and Malaysian jellies. Yu
A crazy weekend just flew by filled with delicious food, gorgeous friends and my wonderful family. We hosted a dinner party on Friday night for my dear friend Trace, who flew back from Singapore for the Christmas holidays. She and Pete brought back the new edition to their family, baby Mimi, who is only two months old! You can already tell that this little half dutch/half Phillo baby is going to be one heck of a heart breaker.
A trip to visit Katty in Wyoming followed by a battle at the shopping centre to buy pressies for MP's eight nieces and nephews, left MP and I frazzled and dazed on Saturday. But we persevered, driving out to Baulkham Hills that night for friends' birthday celebrations. Then Sunday was another full day - lunch at Nina and Carls's (DIY Vietnamese rice paper rolls complete with authentic pork jerky skewers) followed by a trip out to Canley Vale for soupy beef pho. Then a visit to mum and dad's in West Penno before finally making our way home... Lest to day, It was a full on weekend.
This year has flown by in a blur and, quite frankly, I'm exhausted. Only now, as the year end nears, have I had the chance to reflect on how big this year has been... setting up our home, loss of a loved one, getting married and big opportunities at work... it's been a year of momentous events.
I am looking forward to some quiet time over Christmas/New Years to just sit back, relax and be, me. Pick up my camera again, twist and cross the bobbins of my half finished lace work, reform the crochet blister on my right hand, and head back out to the bindery. Looking forward to indulging in my frivolous pursuits. But all that will have to wait until after Christmas as there is no slowing down in the next six days! Preparations for our big family feast has already begun - honey glazed ham, oozy potato bake, refreshing prawn and mango salad... and much, much more. This year will be the first year where the in laws will be joining us, and with them comes delicious Malaysian desserts. Coconut cendol and Malaysian jellies. Yu
Sunday, November 20, 2011
A little bit of an epiphany
So I slept on my "hmph" and an idea came to me in the morning. I might ("might" being the operative word here) have an idea on what I want to do. With my money, with my job, with my time... basically with my life.
For those of you who have followed my corporate craftie journey to date, you would have probably seen a common theme. One, I only realised late last night when it came to me in a dream - stuffed crochet piggies, art and crafts, children's markets, sparkly Cinderella shoes... I am a ten year old girl trapped in a grown up body! (Yes, it was a weird dream). I am a big, fat kid.
It explains so much - my internal angst, my mental conflict, my lack of confidence at work (for I feel like a kid playing dress ups, clomping around in high heals, trying not to be caught out). The fact that I get along with kids better than my peers. It's like the penny finally dropped and it all suddenly makes sense!
So maybe I need to stop fighting. Stop pretending to be a know-it-all grown up. Just be me. But for my own mental sanity, I need to bridge the divide somehow. Right now being a grown up has had me depressed and unhappy, but acting like a ten year old kid is definitely not an option.
I'm thinking, maybe a career in the children's industry? A toy designer? (Oh, I'd love that!) Go back to uni to study children's psychology? (Hmm, will definitely help with raising my future kids.) Be a preschool teacher? (Interestingly, that would be realising a psychic prediction from an old turtle shell reader my parent's visited when I was a kid... maybe you really can't fight destiny? No, that'll be depressing... this train of thought deserves a post of it's own. Mental note to self to explore this topic later.)
I do have a radical idea that I'm going to explore which I will reveal in due time.
But for now, this little epiphany is enough to give me a moment of peace.
For those of you who have followed my corporate craftie journey to date, you would have probably seen a common theme. One, I only realised late last night when it came to me in a dream - stuffed crochet piggies, art and crafts, children's markets, sparkly Cinderella shoes... I am a ten year old girl trapped in a grown up body! (Yes, it was a weird dream). I am a big, fat kid.
It explains so much - my internal angst, my mental conflict, my lack of confidence at work (for I feel like a kid playing dress ups, clomping around in high heals, trying not to be caught out). The fact that I get along with kids better than my peers. It's like the penny finally dropped and it all suddenly makes sense!
So maybe I need to stop fighting. Stop pretending to be a know-it-all grown up. Just be me. But for my own mental sanity, I need to bridge the divide somehow. Right now being a grown up has had me depressed and unhappy, but acting like a ten year old kid is definitely not an option.
I'm thinking, maybe a career in the children's industry? A toy designer? (Oh, I'd love that!) Go back to uni to study children's psychology? (Hmm, will definitely help with raising my future kids.) Be a preschool teacher? (Interestingly, that would be realising a psychic prediction from an old turtle shell reader my parent's visited when I was a kid... maybe you really can't fight destiny? No, that'll be depressing... this train of thought deserves a post of it's own. Mental note to self to explore this topic later.)
I do have a radical idea that I'm going to explore which I will reveal in due time.
But for now, this little epiphany is enough to give me a moment of peace.
Life and Onions
Christmas is only five weeks away. I can't believe how quickly this year has flown. Earlier this week, I took a walk up to Pitt Street Mall to do a spot of window shopping. The plan being to prepare a mental shopping list so I don't do the usual two days before Christmas, shopping freak out. I was also hoping to find something to add to my own list for Santa. A new dress? A leather handbag? A new pair of shoes?
Wondering from store to store, department to department, I ended the shopping trip annoyed and confused.
This year's Summer selection of dresses were exactly what I needed to revamp my work wardrobe. The Miu Miu boho bag matched my Miu Miu wallet perfectly. A pair of mandarin loafers would have carried my feet in comfort and style all Summer... But I couldn't bring myself to buy anything. Or to really even want them. I felt the fabric of the dresses and held the bags up in the mirror, but it all felt empty. Now bear in mind, I am definitely no preacher of anti-consumerism (my apartment is a testament to that). I simply didn't want to spend my money on any of the things that a girl my age, would want to buy.
Needless to say, that lead to a pretty depressing train of mental realisations which can be summed up by the fact that I continue to do a job which I'm not passionate about, all for the money, yet none of the objects which I am meant to desire was sparking any desire within me.
So after my pathetic excuse of shopping for myself, I decided to venture to the toys department to look for a present for my little cousins... and I entered NIRVANA.
Lego boardgames! Squinkies! Zhu zhu pets! My heart was racing when I discovered the Sylvanian Family toy sets in Myer. I.e. Little animal families which were very beloved by my sister and I when we were kids.
I was an eight year girl again... an eight year old girl with a credit card! My time in Myer's toy department was bliss and I had a great time oggling at all the colourful packaging, mentally deciding which "styles" and "models" I would buy. (Gosh I wish I was talking about cars as oppose to Squinkies and zhu zhu pets.)
But once again, I couldn't bring myself to buy anything! (What's wrong with me!) This time, grown up Jac kicked in. "What are you going to do with a lego robot? Where are you going to put a Sylvanian Families Doll house? Batteries are not included with this toy, do you really want to fork out an extra $10 for batteries?"
Yep, Reality struck and I left empty handed.
Being a kid sucks because you don't have the money to buy the toys you want... but being an adult also sucks because you're so practical with all your decision making!
As I walked away from the Myer Toy department, I thought about onions. We go through all the layers, all the processes and routines which make up a life time. From physically going to the store to mentally deliberating about what we're going to buy. But in the end the realization hits that you need none of those things, that "stuff" doesn't matter, and you are left with nothing. Just like an onion.
But what's left me annoyed is that if I know this fact and I've witnessed it first hand, why then, am I poo poo'ing my time doing things I don't love? I keep telling myself that I need to do my stinking corporate job for the money, but that's codswallop. I'd still earn money doing something I love. Just less... A lot less. But If I know that more money is not going to buy me fulfillment, then what the heck am I doing?
Hmph.
Wondering from store to store, department to department, I ended the shopping trip annoyed and confused.
This year's Summer selection of dresses were exactly what I needed to revamp my work wardrobe. The Miu Miu boho bag matched my Miu Miu wallet perfectly. A pair of mandarin loafers would have carried my feet in comfort and style all Summer... But I couldn't bring myself to buy anything. Or to really even want them. I felt the fabric of the dresses and held the bags up in the mirror, but it all felt empty. Now bear in mind, I am definitely no preacher of anti-consumerism (my apartment is a testament to that). I simply didn't want to spend my money on any of the things that a girl my age, would want to buy.
Needless to say, that lead to a pretty depressing train of mental realisations which can be summed up by the fact that I continue to do a job which I'm not passionate about, all for the money, yet none of the objects which I am meant to desire was sparking any desire within me.
So after my pathetic excuse of shopping for myself, I decided to venture to the toys department to look for a present for my little cousins... and I entered NIRVANA.
Lego boardgames! Squinkies! Zhu zhu pets! My heart was racing when I discovered the Sylvanian Family toy sets in Myer. I.e. Little animal families which were very beloved by my sister and I when we were kids.
I was an eight year girl again... an eight year old girl with a credit card! My time in Myer's toy department was bliss and I had a great time oggling at all the colourful packaging, mentally deciding which "styles" and "models" I would buy. (Gosh I wish I was talking about cars as oppose to Squinkies and zhu zhu pets.)
But once again, I couldn't bring myself to buy anything! (What's wrong with me!) This time, grown up Jac kicked in. "What are you going to do with a lego robot? Where are you going to put a Sylvanian Families Doll house? Batteries are not included with this toy, do you really want to fork out an extra $10 for batteries?"
Yep, Reality struck and I left empty handed.
Being a kid sucks because you don't have the money to buy the toys you want... but being an adult also sucks because you're so practical with all your decision making!
As I walked away from the Myer Toy department, I thought about onions. We go through all the layers, all the processes and routines which make up a life time. From physically going to the store to mentally deliberating about what we're going to buy. But in the end the realization hits that you need none of those things, that "stuff" doesn't matter, and you are left with nothing. Just like an onion.
But what's left me annoyed is that if I know this fact and I've witnessed it first hand, why then, am I poo poo'ing my time doing things I don't love? I keep telling myself that I need to do my stinking corporate job for the money, but that's codswallop. I'd still earn money doing something I love. Just less... A lot less. But If I know that more money is not going to buy me fulfillment, then what the heck am I doing?
Hmph.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)